HJ's Home for Wayward Exotic Hybrids

(cw: reptiles, hybrids as pets-esque)

in which exotic pet owner HJ who rescues an injured snake and gets more than he bargained for

// one of these days i'll manage a half-baked thread idea that's, like, not the length of an actual fic. nobody hold your breath though.

HJ who constantly goes herping and finds an injured and dehydrated snake one day. he takes it home to try nurse back to health, because HJ runs a bit of a reptile rescue and he intends to return the snake to the wild once it's better!

it's a bit of a project, but after a few weeks HJ is pretty sure the snake is almost ready for release back where he found it. which is good! that's exactly what he wanted. he isn't really expecting the snake to turn into a beautiful boy once it's healed up, though.

he's nominally aware of hybrids, because he's got a dog hybrid named YH, but he wasn't aware snake hybrids existed so he's shocked when SH shifts in front of him. HJ turns to the rest of his collection and is like ARE ANY OF THE REST OF YOU SHIFTERS????

doesn't really expect anything to happen when he does, but his free roaming monitor lizard sheepishly shifts and is like "hiiiiii i'm WY" and then while HJ's standing there flabbergasted, WY goes over to one of the cages and pulls HJ's (sleeping) bearded lizard out

after waking the beardie up, the beardie introduces himself as YS! they've been in HJ's collection for like 5yrs since HJ was first starting out, peacefully getting free food and nice warm lamps in exchange for doing chores sometimes while HJ's out or asleep (not that HJ notices)

by this point HJ's freaking out like "were you guys ever gonna tell me??? 😭😭😭"

they were not.

SH shifting kinda ruined their plans though, so HJ now has three reptile hybrids and his dog YH, who definitely knew the entire time two hybrids were living in their house unannounced and just never told HJ, which gets him a scolding

HJ like "aren't you supposed to be a guard dog????? YOU'VE BEEN LETTING STRANGERS LIVE HERE????" while YH is like "WY and YS aren't strangers! they're friends! 😊💕"

meanwhile SH's wrapped around HJ possessively, because while he was being nursed back to health he decided he was HJ's bride. or wife. whatever terminology HJ likes better, it doesn't matter because the only thing that matters is that SH is in love with HJ 💕💕

HJ is not having this, because he learned a lot of stuff in the last five minutes and he's only okay with about half of it!!! he needs a minute process the rest!! also where are you guys even gonna sleep he can't let hybrids sleep in enclosures!! he doesn't have bunk bed money...

WY and YS are like "but i LIKE my enclosure" (or dog bed under a heat lamp, in WY's case) and SH is like "your bed 🥰" so HJ decides that no, actually. they would have told him if the enclosures were bad so they can stay there!! he's going to bed!! bye!!!

when he wakes up the next morning, SH's made breakfast and all the hybrids are sitting at the table eating. it's still a bit surreal for HJ, but also nice? HJ's always loved reptiles and he does get lonely, so having more people means the rescue can expand its work… win/win??

for a while that's how it goes: HJ rescues reptiles, the 3 reptile hybrids help him out, YH's under strict orders to TELL HJ if a rescue's a hybrid, and everything's great! HJ's life is full and beautiful now. he's a little less freaked out? he's more receptive to SH's advances

anyway eventually SH gets his way and becomes HJ's little housewife (yay 🥰). word gets out that HJ takes care of exotic hybrids, though, so people start giving him their hybrids that they can't care for anymore! which is how HJ gets MG, another snake hybrid

like many rescuers, HJ is not immune to the foster fail. MG is a HUGE foster fail because HJ fully intends to pass him on to a new owner, but as it turns out not many people are eager to keep snake hybrids as companions even though dog hybrids like YH are really popular

this is how HJ ends up starting a YT channel. at first it's an awareness thing, bc he wants to show reptile hybrids and why they're just as cool to own, but then it turns into a lifestyle vlog channel. each of the hybrids is allowed to take the camcorder and film their own vlogs

this includes MG, who becomes a fan favorite, so HJ is like "fine! fine, we can't send MG away" but he's like "no more, though!! 5 is so many hybrids!!!" then someone asks if he knows about turtles and HJ doesn't but he can learn, so that's how he ends up with turtle hybrid SN.

SN isn't quite a foster fail. he just has health problems that make HJ wary of finding SN a new home. fuck it, they have a pond out back SN loves so whatever. SN can stay too!! fine!! but definitely no more bc HJ doesn't have infinite money, even if the YT channel is doing okay

but HJ gets asked about birds and cockatoo hybrid JH ends up in their little family. and HJ is like "okay!! no more hybrid rescues omg we had to MOVE bc there's so many ppl in this house (even though half of them stay in animal form) we can't keep doing this!! 7 is enough!!!"

(even in saying that, though, HJ already knows that he'll take in whatever exotic hybrids are in need, because who else will? and yeah, there are *going* to be more foster fails)

(see original on twitter. no i won't call it x.)